Tag Archives: marriage

Having faith in interfaith

Image: http://lifehopeandtruth.com/change/faith/

Although my husband and I have different backgrounds in religion, culture, language and nationality, none of our arguments have ever related to any of those differences. That’s not to say we never fight – because we do, our fights just don’t ever get political.

We are one of very few couples who not only get along with but also adore each other’s parents. My husband’s parents are crazy about me and I’m fairly sure my parents love my husband more than they love me. Furthermore our respective sets of parents share a love for each other. The fact that they live in different countries doesn’t stop them from contacting each other on a regular basis. Additionally, my Mum calls my husband’s brother and sister her son and daughter (respectively), and they in turn call my Mum their Mum too. The sort of relations my husband’s family has with my family can only be seen in fairytales, and even then our ‘Happily every after’ is better than that of any fairytale.

I have several friends and acquaintances that share the same nationality and religion as their partner, but their families can’t seem to get along. That puts a great strain on the functioning of their relationship and prospective future of their partnership. My husband and I are truly blessed, that despite all our differences our families get along and they get along well.

I can’t imagine the difficulty of an interfaith marriage of which one or both sets of parents disapprove. Thus, the small hardships that my husband and I have faced (and are likely yet to face) from the outside world, cannot in any way be compared to the sorts of hardships other interfaith couples experience whose parents disapprove of their union. I can’t really comment on those hardships because, luckily, I myself have not had to endure them. What I can say, however, is that my husband’s family and my family have set a pretty damn good example of how things should be with regards to interfaith marriage and marriage in general. Other interfaith couples’ families should seriously take note and follow suit.

Parents want what is best for their children, but sometimes what parents think is best for their children, isn’t want the children think is best for themselves. Furthermore, parents who are scared about their child marrying into a different culture or religion because they might lose the culture and religion they were born into, have unfounded fears. You don’t lose your identity to your partner when you marry them, so why would you lose your culture and religion? Anything is possible; it’s simply a matter of choice. If the families of a couple comprising of one Russian-Orthodox Jew and one Iranian Muslim could unite despite their differences and figure it out, I’m sure other families can figure it out too.

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Although I am new to the blogging world and am completely incompetent at using technology (I only recently learned how to make hyperlinks), I believe that my message of peace and tolerance needs to be heard. To learn a little bit more about my background please read my post titled “A little bit about myself…”. To learn more about why I started this blog, please read my post titled “Introduction…”.

“You’re too young to be married”

Image: http://www.quickmeme.com/Futurama-Fry/page/409/

This one time, my Bestie and I were sitting in a café preparing for an upcoming exam. A lady on the next table overheard our law-speak and asked us what we studied and what our exam was about. She then turned to me and said: “I can’t help but notice that gorgeous ring on your hand. Are you actually engaged?” I replied with- “No I’m not engaged I’m actually married.” Taken aback, she then asked, “How old are you?” I was 22 at the time, and I answered accordingly. “But you’re too young to be married!”- She remarked. Alrightey lady, please excuse me while I go and get divorced then. Do you have any other moulds you’d like me to squeeze into?

In my previous post (“Equality in difference, not indifference to equality”) I talked about a young man who said that women are going down the drain if they’re unmarried by 30. Thus, I was under the impression that I had satisfied some warped social expectation by getting married at 22. Allow me a moment to ponder…Wait, I think I get it now. Ladies, don’t make my mistake. Don’t marry when you’re in love or you think it’s right for you and your partner to do so or any of that nonsense. Get married before 30, but after 22 or whenever else you’re not considered to be ‘too young’. Actually, don’t hedge your bets that way-get married at 29 that way you’re technically not ‘too young’ and you’re still under 30. Phew, so glad I figured that out without having to write a mathematical equation.

While I’m well aware that I went off on a tangent there, hopefully I succeeded in painting a pretty absurd picture that highlights how useless it is to try to live up to society’s deranged expectations.

Coming back to theme of ageism, like Mr. Abraham Lincoln I’ve always thought “…it’s not the years in your life that count. But the life in your years”. Apparently, some people disagree with these wise words. Upon telling one of my relatives that I was spiritual but not religious, she said “Don’t worry, that will come with age”. Well, I’m not worried… about myself, anyway. Nor do I want to become religious with age. I have chosen to be spiritual, but my relative not only dismissed my choice, she attributed it to a lack of experience…experience that can only be acquired with age.

What sort of an environment are we creating for ourselves? If we stifle young people’s ability to have strong opinions and be sure of their own decisions while they’re young, by the time they’re apparently ‘old enough’ to formulate opinions, they might be ‘too old’ to hold such views, or they simply might not know how to have opinions of their own. I guess it’s easier to control the masses, when the masses don’t have opinions.

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Although I am new to the blogging world and am completely incompetent at using technology (I only recently learned how to make hyperlinks), I believe that my message of peace and tolerance needs to be heard. To learn a little bit more about my background please read my post titled “A little bit about myself…”. To learn more about why I started this blog, please read my post titled “Introduction…”.